The things I did't learn

I obviously led a deprived (depraved?) childhood.  There are things typical y-chromosomal units learned that I did not. 

·         I cannot throw a ball.  As a youngster, I was pummeled with one over-riding epithet.  “Zubke, you throw like a girl.”  That, of course, was patently untrue. Every double x I know throws better than I, and most of them outdo the epithet hurlers of old.  There’s just something about the skill that eludes me.

·         I cannot remove a bullhead from a hook.  Try as I would, the slimy little devils outmaneuvered me every time.  I am convinced that my father-in-law had the only true method…and that one I learned.  Catch a bullhead, cut the line, and start over!

·         I don’t know how to spit.  Some of my cohorts could hit a tin can with unerring accuracy from distances greater than three feet.  If the can were between my feet, I would miss it.

You may wonder how I got to today’s chain of thought. Even if you didn’t, I’m going to share!  I just got back from running (in and of itself a punishment for leading a bad life!) and I was totally engrossed in ideas for today’s blog.  While running, I have learned that it is better to expectorate the product of my salivary glands rather to ingest it.  Lost as I was in thought, I didn’t even realize that I had turned into the wind.  As my ninth grade boys would say (and you realize all ninth grade boys have one commonality…wait for it…) I hocked a lugie.  And it returned.  My ninth grade girls also have a commonality to ninth grade boys doing things like that.  Here it is.  “Gross!”  Thank god for gloves and little traffic.  I did make it home.  I did come up with a topic.  And I have shared.  At times, for me, life is the spits!  But I sure do enjoy the ride!  May the wind always be at your back and always remember you are loved!