backward

There are things that I will only share with my most personal friends.  For you who also follow Facebook posts, you will discover that on Saturday, I will be going to my 45th class reunion.  From this you can draw two brilliant deductions.  One--I am old.  Two, I am old!  However, the event has put my thinking cap into reverse, and I'm 14 again (this time, chronologically--mentally I've been 14 for 50 years!).  I'm a loud-mouthed attention seeker who, to put it kindly, is "fluffy".  Okay.  I was fat.  I was un-athletic (and oh, my, god, is that an understatement).  I was teased about both.  In truth, I believe the catch word is bullied.  I can't even begin to imagine what my life had been like if social media had been invented!  As it were, it could have been wretched.  And at times, it probably was.  But thankfully, I was born with and raised with the philosophy that everyone had a god-given talent.  Everyone had worth.  Instead of caving into the philosophy that I was a waste of oxygen, I searched for and found my mantra.  I couldn't do anything better than anyone.  There were better speakers, better actors, better cookers, better singers, better band members, better everything.  But I could speak, act, cook, sing, and play my horn well enough to earn the recognition I sought.  My "thing" if you will, was to be more "rounded" than those who would cast aspersions.  (Understand, I unfortunately took that both mentally and physically!)  And most importantly, I was surrounded by love.  My parental units took me as I was, and praised what I could do.  My sister unit would have died any number of times because of my actions, but I knew if push came to shove, she was in my corner.  My friends laughed with me, not at me, and thank god I discovered debate!  It was to make life bearable whilst I aged and provide me with an amazing start to a career once I graduated college!  Granted, there were times when my feelers were hurt.  There were times the tears came in gigantic sobs.  But I am convinced, if I hadn't gone through that stage of my life, I wouldn't be the person I am today.  And, I'm okay with who I am.  Not the best...not the worst...but as good as any...and a better fudge maker than most!  So Saturday I will celebrate with my classmates that we have made it this far.  I will hug the ladies (and the men).  I will probably tell a joke or two.  I will take fudge.  And I will let them know that they, like you, are loved!