I'm embarrassed that

--I'm smarter than my phone.  To use it, I flip up the top half.  I dial the number.  I speak into the phone.  When I'm done, I flip it back.  No key board.  No texting.  No internet access.  A phone.  To talk on.  When I want/need.  Hmmmmm
--I still use Microsoft Office 2003!  I know how it works.  It does EVERYTHING I need it to do.  I have other things that require my learning curve.  Like how to fold napkins into Christmas trees--something I saw on my desk-top computer--not my phone.  See note above.
--I gleefully embrace the holiday concept of good will toward men (women, too!).  It may be outdated.  I should probably be shopping to buy presents.  I should probably be fretting over how I can put extra pressure on myself during what should be the most calm and serene time of the year.  Instead, I will simply use every opportunity to let the people I admire and love know that I do.

I lied.  I'm not embarrassed!