If you aren't already, be seated.

Last night, I went to start the snow blower to eliminate the wonderful gift with which Mother Nature had endowed us.  Nothing.  Nada.  Nehil.  It wouldn't even turn over.  Result?  Shovel.  My least favorite four letter word.  Oh wait, it was four letter words I used while I was shoveling.  Be that as it may, this morning, the plows went by and left their residue at the foot of our driveway as well as the neighbor's.  Check the snowblower.  Same result.  Change cords.  Same result.  Change outlets.  Same result.  And again, the ensuing result?  You got it.  Well, I decide that I'm not up to shoveling the rest of the winter so I called the hardware store.  I spoke with Leroy.  God bless Leroy.  He said it could be a number of things.  One was moisture in the switch.  I asked him if putting a heat lamp on the switch might help.  Let me review.  It was MY idea.  He said it might.  Not only did I know exactly where the heat lamp was, I knew how to attach it in such a way as to warm the switch directly.  Back inside, I set the timer for 15 minutes.  In the back of my mind, I could see the heat lamp getting so hot that it would ignite the gas in the tank and blow the entire neighborhood to smithereens.  (Okay, admittedly I watch too much television and have an overactive imagination, but one can never been too careful.)  Beep!  Out to the garage.  IT STARTED!  Between Leroy and little Billy, a mechanical problem was solved.  Now you understand why you should have been seated.  Couple that with the fact that we actually remembered our environmentally friendly grocery bags when we went shopping, and the day becomes almost unbelievable!  Needless to say, I will be basking in the glory for quite some time.  (Of course, I have to make up for yesterday when instead of turning the burner off I turned it to low and left it on for most of the day.  Speaking of blowing the neighborhood up?!!!)  Such are the ups and downs of a mechanically challenged, mentally deficient individual.  But oh, the highs!  Bask in the glory of the good you did today, and know you are loved!