Dear sweet young thing

I was somewhat chagrined when you didn't wave when you went by, but that changed immediately.  You had no hand with which to wave.  The cigarette hung limply from your left hand while your right hand held the phone to your ear.  I was somewhat curious as to what hand was steering the car, but my sense of adventure is limited and I didn't want to see who you took out as your car seemingly automatically found its way down Broadway.  I'm guessing you are not ignorant.  You must have been able to pass the driver's exam.  Unfortunately, since the options are A and B, A being ignorant, that leaves you with B.  Stupid!  There is no call so important you can't take 6 seconds to slow down and park along the street.  That's fewer than three rings.  And I would guess that you hadn't dialed 911, unless you were planning ahead.  If you should decide to continue this behavior, I hope you are the luckiest person on earth.  It seems to be the only way that someone is not exiting this world faster than they should!  Hang up the phone, put out the cigarette, and pay attention.  This is my street!