Wednesday, June 26, 2013

An evening of Shakespeare

The title?  "A Comedy of Errors".  And while there were no sets of twins, it didn't take place in Ephuses, and the slapstick was entirely unplanned, the title is indeed apt!  I speak to the cooking class last night!  In what can only be described as a series of unrelated mishaps, the end result was a cohesive statement of ineptitude!  Picture the following.  1) During the afternoon prep time, a newly opened glass bottle of olive oil sits on display on the outer edge of the counter.  Bill has a cutting board out.  It hangs over the front edge, making it somewhat unsteady.  To remedy this, Bill, in his infinite wisdom, simply pushes it forward...into the bag of craisins which was resting against the olive oil.  The craisins move.  The olive oil commits suicide.  Before I can blink, the bottle does a perfect swan dive onto the cement floor.  Now, you may think you can visualize the result.  Enter the unexpected.  Somehow, the bottle hits the floor in a perfect vertical position.  The impact is absorbed by the plastic insert in the top of the bottle and it gracefully falls in its side, INTACT!  Quickly, before anyone knows it has happened, it is the middle of the counter some 15 feet away from where I am working!  2)  Still prepping.  There has to be lemon meringue pie to serve, so it has to be made that morning.  Humidity...130%.  Meringue...15%.  It's not even that stiff when I apply it.  When it comes out of the oven, it's about 1/2 in high, in the center.  Now understand, meringue falls as it cools.  By nightfall, we had a lemon layer pie!  Looked like crap...tasted heavenly!  Again, not the expected.  3)  While brushing the scones with cream to apply the sugar topping, the silicon pastry head comes off it's plastic handle.  I reattach.  It comes off.  I throw the handle and finish with just the head!  4)  Stirring the lemon curd, the wooden spoon I am using snaps in half (that was one thick curd!)  5)  The coup de grace...I'm demonstrating how to apply the meringue to the pie.  The metal bowl sits unevenly on the counter.  I move to do something.  Because I am unaware of the precarious nature of the bowl, I am not careful.  I knock it on the floor. It spills all over the floor and my boss who is helping with the class!  She was dressed in black and white.  She was now dressed in black and white...and white!  She starts to laugh so hard she cries.  I go to the refrigerator, take out the bottle of vodka (best new ingredient for pie crust), set it on the counter, and threaten to get a water tumbler and start to drink.  Of course, by now, we're all in stitches, and thankfully we were able to finish the class, eat the amazing food (who says I have an ego problem?) clean up and go home.  It is a class none of us will soon forget!  They say laughter is good for the heart, good for the mind, and good for the soul.  Last night wasn't about the calories, it was about the good fors!  William Shakespeare, eat your heart out.  And you?  Know you are loved!

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