Saturday, September 19, 2015
It's the shxxx (rhymes with its!)--literally
Nothing says good weekend morning better than discovering your house now comes with an indoor pool! Washed a load of clothes only to discover that gravity had discontinued its planned natural state, and the washing water, along with some natural brown coloration, had decided to flow backward. It's a miracle. Here's the surprise. When I call the plumber, I get a recording. If this is a plumbing emergency (well, it was to me!), please dial 2. I dial 2. Another soothing voice says, for a plumbing emergency, please dial 4. I dial 4. I get a recording. A recording! (Note to self--sure glad this group doesn't work for 911!) No response. I move the washer. I have one of those snake things. I can't even get it down the hole. (See previous messages on mechanical abilities!) I call again. I press 2. I press 4. The voice returns to the original message. I press 2. I press 4. The voice returns to the original message. Not matching the soothing nature of the voice on the line, I exercise my vast knowledge of expletives. Didn't help. Now I have two alternatives. I can wait for the return call or learn the breast stroke. Or, I could exercise an out-of-the-box alternative. I could drink my breakfast! The OOTB choice is becoming more appealing. But then I would have to pee. The neighbors might object to me using the back yard! Expletive not deleted! Enjoy your day, flush once for me, and know you are loved!