Thursday, May 29, 2014

The spigot

Here's the deal.  I am handyman impaired.  When I hold a power tool in my hands, shudders can be felt on the Richter scale!  I recognize inept.  In fact, I revel in inept.  As my good friend, little Ruth Marie says, you work your whole life so you can pay someone to do the things you can't/don't want to do.  That would be mostly things having to do with tools.  Yet, for some reason this morning, I was possessed by a demon that suggested I should at least see why the spigot in the west garden was leaking,  with shovel and small trowel in hand, I approach said spigot.  I commence.  I remove the lawn edging that is currently in front of the spigot.  It comes apart in one piece as it is supposed to.  I celebrate.  I then proceed to dig a small trench in front of the spigot to expose the connection to the water supply.  Yup.  It's leaking.  There is a wire clamp holding the supply hose to the supply valve.  I tighten it.  I then walk all the way across the yard to turn on the water.  When I return to the spigot, visions of Old Faithful greet me.  Water is spurting out.  I return across the yard at a more rapid rate and turn the water off.  Back to the spigot.  I surmise the problem is the connecting hose has slipped up and water is coming out the bottom.  Have I mentioned the spigot is attached to a 4x4 with two C clamps?  I know I have to move the faucet down, so I have to remove the C clamps.  Different screw driver.  Into the house I go for a Phillips.  (No. Not a shot of vodka!  The screw driver!). Back to the faucet.  Remove the C clamps.  Push the spigot and connecting hose to secure it to the water supply. Open up the hose clamp (using a flat head screw driver) move it down over the supply valve and the connecting hose, and tighten to a fair-thee-well.  Walk back to turn on the water.  Amble back, somewhat trepidously, knowing my penchant for solving problems such as these.  No geyser.  No drip.  No wave on the standing water from before.  And yes, I had actually turned the water on.  The celebratory dance was one for you tube!  Emboldened by my obvious new-found skill set, I re-attach the C clamp.  Notice, I say camp.  Singular.  There is that omnipresent niggle that all this will come undone, so let's not hastily make more work than necessary when it's time to fix the fix.  That was seven hours ago.  The 37 times I have been by to check, it's still fixed.  Do the math.  1 shovel.  1 trowel.  2 screwdrivers.  Equals 1 fixed spigot and one very proud quasi-handy person.  And just between us, you will NEVER know if it all goes bad!   Celebrate all your victories and know you are loved!

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