Friday, July 26, 2013

on the bathroom wall

Call it strange, but I have always been amused and amazed at what I find on bathroom walls.  Some of the funniest off-color humor I know has come from these inspired essayists, novelists, and poets.  The one-liners rock.  The doggerel is unmatched in clever intent.  But last night, it was obviously an inspired philosopher who moved mean...caught my attention.  We were in a delightful little restaurant in Twin Brooks, South Dakota, called the Bird Feeder.  Actually, the "we" in this case was a group of nine retired female teachers who meet every month, and me.  Great odds.  I was honored that they invited me to join them.  They're usually a no "y" organization.  We started at the farmers' market.  We toured the metropolitan area.  We ate an amazing four course meal, complete with birdseed, and then it happened.  I should inform you that there are all sorts of tchotchkes available for sale here...wall hangings, bird paraphernalia, napkins, get the picture.  Anyhoo--I head to the bathroom and there, for a mere $3.00 was the most insightful, direct, complete statement of philosophical truth that I have ever seen.  Of course, I didn't buy it.  Remember, I taught for a living.  I could memorize it and make it myself!  But I digress.  Standing on its rough-cut wooden base was a plaque that said, "I'm too young to be this old!"  Ain't it the truth.  My arthritic thumb throbs.  My manly chest will soon require a "bro".  And let's not discuss peristalsis.  The hair on my head continues to wane.  The hair on my ears, nose, and other unusual places continues to wax (or I probably should wax!).  I occasionally break wind (okay, so that's not a new thing, but I now have something on which to blame it!)  But inside, I'm 14.  I get excited about doing something new.  I find the unusual to be interesting.  I like to be the center of attention.  I really don't listen all that well.  I want to do the things I did then.  As a good friend said last night, as I was admiring the cast on her broken wrist, acquired by climbing on furniture to access something taller than she, "but I did it when I was 30!"  I'm really sorry she broke her wrist.  But a part of me is really glad she's not giving in to years!  I've seen too many people get old by choice!  It's just plain ugly.  So to you fuddy duddy types who would suggest that I "act my age", understand I am!  14 Forever!  My new motto!  63 goes back into the box in the very farthest recesses of the attic.  I don't have to comb my hair, I can pluck that which I don't like, and darn it, I've always admired cleavage!  Now let's go play!!!!  And remember you are loved!

1 comment:

  1. LOVE IT! And that is how I will think of you from now on...14.