Tuesday, July 23, 2013

to outdoor chores

I love to mow!  It is a sickness, I understand, but one I have learned to live with!  Mowing simply provides me with a plethora of benefits.  Consider first, the Zubke mowing uniform.  Shorts.  That's it.  Shorts.  No shirt, no shoes, just service!  (By the way, the time will come when I go to McDonald's wearing only a shirt and shoes, but I will alert the press before that happens!)  You will understand the consternation of my neighbors and those driving by on Broadway.  I am not the body beautiful.  Our lawn is not even or smooth.  As I mow, the mower jumps and skips, causing my untoned body to jiggle and dance in a myriad of ways.  I'm pretty sure it isn't an appealing sight.  But it is medicinal.  You see, the more body exposed to the sun, the more vitamin D I am absorbing.  Vitamin D has a suggested link to weight loss.  Vitamin D has been proved to have a significant impact on the genes that are involved in several biologic pathways associated with illnesses, including cancer, autoimmune disease, cardiovascular disease and infectious diseases.  (Ya gotta love cut and paste directly from the Internet, don't you?)  Obviously, I will go to extreme lengths to justify my mowing apparel.  (Insert here disclaimer about over-exposure to the sun.  This can be very bad, so I mow quickly!)
Then, there is the time involvement/thought necessity correlation.  It takes a while to mow the yard.  It takes no thought to mow the yard.  Time spent mowing can be spent thinking of other things, like what's for supper, should I stop now for a cold adult beverage, on what should I blog today....  Solutions to many world problems have been found whilst mowing.  Now, if I could only convince others that they will work! 
Next, there is the job to do/job done motivator.  I hate things that must be done but don't show.  When I mow, it's because the yard has incessantly reminded me it's time (never knew grass could nag, did you?).  Therefore, it is obvious where I have been, and obvious that I have done something.  The feeling of accomplishment is amazing.  And of course, there is that cold adult beverage waiting for the completion of the task.
Mowing increases the aesthetics of the neighborhood.  When the yards look well groomed, the houses actually look better.  The value of the property increases, and my neighbors, who are sick of seeing me mow, can get more money for their homes when they move!  Another instance of Pollyannaism--win-win.  All because I cut the grass.
That pretty much sums up my depth of thought for the day.  And for those of you who think I maybe hit the cold beverage already, you could be right!  Do what you love, and know I love you!

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